What are you doing with your life?
Vocation, Volunteering and Campaigning
What are you doing with your life?
So why do you do what you do? Are you living your life on purpose? What were the conscious choices? Do you think you fell into it by chance? Was it inevitable? Did you feel ‘called’ to do it in some way?
This month we are looking at what it is that leads us to do what we do, to where we are and who we are, especially for those of us involved in doing and being Useful and Kind. Vocation, Volunteering and Campaigning.
Just take a mindful minute to pause and think about what you are doing with your life. Are you equally Useful and Kind (prosocial) in all aspects of your life? Do you have the kind of job that makes that easy or is most of your pro sociality volunteering?
As the late lamented Sir Ken Robinson used to say, a ‘CV is a neat, post-hoc justification for what was in fact a whole series of serendipitous opportunities’. Did you actually feel from a certain age that you were dedicating your life to a particular cause or journey?
What is a vocation or calling?
A vocation is an occupation to which a person is especially drawn or for which they are suited, trained, or qualified. Though now often used in non-religious contexts, the meanings of the term originated in Christianity. Wiki
Vocation is a type of work that you feel you are suited to doing and to which you should give all your time and energy, or the feeling that a type of work suits you in this way: I feel I've found/missed my true vocation.
Most teachers regard their profession as a vocation, not just a job.
To work in medicine, you should have a vocation for it.
Calling
a strong wish to do a job, usually one that is socially valuable:
I'm glad she's going into medicine. It's a very worthy calling.
Cambridge Dictionary
Originally it was applied to the priesthood and certainly has the inbuilt principle of people over profit: to give and not to count the cost, to go the extra mile. Priests speak of the Discernment to Ministry which is a process of quiet and shared reflection on whether this really is the right choice for them and for the Big ‘Guy’ in the sky.
It is interesting to consider where choice comes in. For many it is a privilege to sit and ponder how best one can live our ‘three score years and ten’. Maslow’s oft-quoted and now broadly dismissed Hierarchy of Needs suggests that this only comes after our physiological needs are met. For many in the world this is true - the only thing we can possibly do with our time is find food and tend to our loved ones and to aggrandise it with vocation is misplaced. However… For us at U&K it can as much about the way we live our lives, with utility and generosity, with the other in mind, with a sense of balance on this planet, as it is about being CEO of Save the Children. But we race ahead.
Matthew Frost, former CEO of Tearfund, described his role as leader, partly as helping colleagues to discern their own vocations.
helping people to discern what it is they have to do to live their life ‘on purpose’
to help them find how that was possible within the role they currently have
or to identify if it was a different role
or of it was in another part of their life whether as parent or volunteer or entrepreneur
to see how these could all be balanced and to urge them towards decisions about what to do and to make conscious choices.
There can be all sorts of triggers for a U&K vocation in order to lead a well-lived life.
your kindness was noticed and encouraged by your authority figures when you were small
it was expected of you
your primary caregivers were involved in professions or volunteering, many of the prosocial professions appear to ‘run in the family’: teaching, medicine, priesthood
you felt a burning injustice and wanted to do something about it
you were struck by a ‘traumatic’ experience: seeing pictures of poverty, pain or indeed the positive experience when in 1947 a group of soldiers and scientists were able to piece together the first pictures of the earth from more than 100 miles above its surface and the revelatory ‘Earthrise’ pictures in colour experienced in 1968 by the crew of Apollo 8 https://solarsystem.nasa.gov/resources/2234/the-story-behind-apollo-8s-famous-earthrise-photo/ which led to the sense of us being One Sky, One Earth, One People
you were good at the subjects that led to it at school
you were part of a youth organisation that encouraged a sense of duty, giving, helping
A prosocial leader is someone who leads, lives and acts for the welfare of others and the world.
But the circumstances need to be right. Or do they?
Think about most of the jobs that exist now. They simply weren’t around even 10 years ago. No one was a ‘social media manager’ fifteen years ago. Thirty years ago only senior military folk had sent an email. In ten years’ time it is not impossible that in the west most medical diagnoses will be done using AI and the role of the teacher or lecturer will be very different given radical digital possibilities and we may all be chipped to aid our memory in 30 years’ time.
Underlying all this though is the innate, hard-wired, old brain pro-sociality which still calls many to live a life of helping and healing others with grace and passion. Whatever the circumstances.
As we know from all the research around the Bystander Effect (Sanderson, Bregman) we often only respond to need if the following conditions are met:
We notice the event
We interpret it as an emergency
We assume responsibility
We know the appropriate form of assistance
We see if there is any one else around who can do it
We implement the decision to help
Equally though, Angela Cavallo didn’t go through all this when she displayed ‘hysterical strength’ in 1964 lifting a car so that rescuers could get to her unconscious child beneath, nor did Mamoudou Gassama, the ‘undocumented West African Migrant’ who scaled the building in Paris to save a child https://abcnews.go.com/International/malian-migrant-scales-building-save-child-paris-balcony/story?id=55483363
The Good Samaritan
The original prosocial hero was of course the Good Samaritan. What is often forgotten about this parable is that people of similar faith to the injured Jew passed by and it was the Samaritan, traditionally not the best of mates with their Jewish brothers and sisters, who, at some cost, financial and potentially reputational, to himself, stopped to help. This was the story told in response to the question ‘who is my neighbour?’ The conclusion is we are all neighbours, brothers and sisters, again, one People.
This story illustrates what we at U&K have thought much about in our SOW model (being Useful and Kind to Self, Others and World) namely, the tendency first to help the in-group (friends, family, those with similar genes or predilections) but that the real transformational power in the world is when we reach out to those who are different, are far away or are disagreeing with us. However as a sad postscript to the parable, rather than celebrate the pro-sociality of the Good Samaritan, some have used it simply to criticise the Jew and the Levite who passed by, which shows two things. First that not all feel safe in all circumstances to be Useful and Kind and secondly that we clearly still have a big task on. A task to celebrate difference, to welcome the ‘other’, to recognise that we have ‘more in common than divides us’.
The other important lesson from the parable is that vocation can come with a cost. The early mantra in my family was ‘to give and not to count the cost’, which meant both the literal and the metaphorical. Focus on the outcomes, keep going til it is done. Ask ‘what else can I do?’
But and it is an important but, we need to look after ourselves (Self in the SOW model) in order to be of use (utility) and service for others. Often there can be a sense that we must Please Others that we can only look to ourselves when the whole world is well - the fast track to burn-out or compassion fatigue if ever there was.
It is also extremely important to get away from the s/hero model or that can quickly become a demotivation to our Vocation - the pain of comparison - if only… ‘we were Greta or Malala, the charity worker, the doctor, the teacher’. We can all be Useful and Kind in our simple interactions with people. Ask with authenticity how the person is in the coffee shop, pause to mentalise the life of the seemingly annoying person in the call centre and remind yourself that you really do love the child who acts out in the shop. Be Useful. Be Kind.
Not all vocations are at first apparently prosocial. I was reminded recently of that genius Schubert, who, in his 31 years wrote some of the most glorious music ever written, much of which gives, succour, joy, delight, and pleasure centuries on. And yet….most of his music was not performed in his lifetime. Many of the manuscripts were just given to friends and rescued after his death. It’s so very weird to think that I have heard more performances of his 2nd Symphony than he did. But his vocation was to write music and this illustrates another really important aspect of vocation: he couldn’t not. He had to just write. And I’m so glad he did. Unwittingly Schubert has given pleasure to so many since.
This is the opposite of the ‘like/share/subscribe’ fuelled egotism of much social media, where Self dominates, where we crave recognition and adoration from the many we don’t know. What do we do that we need attention for? Of course recognition and the kind word goes a long way to keep us on track but what do we do that goes quietly and lovingly unnoticed?
It is very easy to assume this is only possible if we lead the ascetic life, the hair shirt, the denial. Mindful as we are at U&K about the wonderful work being done on balancing People, Planet and Profit by so many wonderful colleagues and friends (Katherine Trebeck, Kate Raworth) Peter Singer, the philosopher behind Effective Altruism https://www.effectivealtruism.org , acknowledges that within the capitalist frame it is possible to do more good by earning the most you can and giving it away to the most effective charities. And now Mary Portas, ‘Queen of Shops’ has turned her attention to how business kind be ‘kind and sentient’ or even Useful and Kind!
What if your vocation is not readily achievable through a traditional career? Do you find ways to volunteer in your ‘own’ time? Do you start a prosocial business? Do you campaign for others? How do you assess what is the most effective and impactful use of your time, skills, experience, knowledge and passion?
The Japanese concept of Ikigai, a ‘reason for being’ can really help you to assess where it might lie for you.
Image from Japana Home
Volunteering
Volunteering might be where your vocation is best achieved:
The National Council for Volunteering Organisations is constantly researching this:
44% of the UK public donate to charity in a typical month
23% of people over 16 took part in formal volunteering at least once a month (March 2020) England
21m volunteers help charities each year
7% of the population are consistently and heavily involved in volunteering over the lifetime
there are 163,000 charities to help good causes, donations, trading, selling and they raise £43.8bn, £41.7b spent on good causes
91% rely solely on the work of volunteers
https://www.thirdsectorprotect.co.uk/blog/volunteering-statistics/
Why do people volunteer?
‘Doing good’ is a volunteer’s most likely motivation
The top three motivations listed in order are:
- I wanted to improve things/help people – 46%
- The cause was important to me – 31%
- I had spare time to do it – 25%
Whereas the least common motivations for volunteering were:
- I felt there was no-one else to do it – 7%
- It helps me get on in my career – 7%
- It gives me a chance to get a recognised qualification – 2%
We have of course seen huge increases of pro-sociality during the pandemic: neighbours and strangers helping each other. People on the street showing gratitude to those they don’t know personally but acknowledge their contributions. https://www.theguardian.com/society/2020/may/26/uk-volunteering-coronavirus-crisis-community-lockdown
Campaigning
Or it might lie in campaigning. The rise of the digital campaign has been huge over the last decade from Amnesty International’s Write a Letter Campaign to the work of Avaaz https://secure.avaaz.org/page/en/ , or 350.org https://350.org Or it might be joining a local #blacklivesmatter group, or making a video about #metoo or looking through the UN Sustainable Development Goals and deciding which really moves you to action. https://sdgs.un.org/goals
Listen to the inspirational U&K Podcast with Bunny McDiarmid and Larch Maxey https://www.usefulandkindunlimited.com/uk-podcast which tells of the passion and costs of campaigning.
How to do it: The U&K Guide
The Useful and Kind 14 steps to discerning your vocation or calling.
Find a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed and set aside some time. Be aware of what is going on for you as you sit quietly. Use a journal or pen and paper (the act of writing will embed it more than typing).
ask yourself what are you good at?
what makes your heart sing? (at the idea of doing or having completed something)
is it U&K (and what impact will it have) to your Self
to Others
and to the world
what is the balance between the three?
what difference will it make 7 generations hence?
listen to your inner voice - check it’s not that of your parents or early authority figures but is authentic to who you are
ask yourself if I don’t do it not now, then when can I do it?
what would the cost be to you? financial, emotional, resources? What are the costs to you, others and the world of not doing it?
ask friends what they think and listen to what they say without judgement - you don’t have to follow their advice
sit in silence with it
ask what will be the first step
do that first step
YOU - the U&K leader
are informed about and engaged with the world, alert and alive to its problems
make it a better place through empathy, compassion and action
have the self-awareness, belief and creativity, authentically to engage and galvanise yourself and others to make it better
live a life that is truly aligned with authentic values
understand, accept and prise who you are and who you can fully be and the contribution you can make
are filled with drive, love and acceptance of others
work for the greater good
put people before profit
lead ethically and compassionately
are reflective and energetically intelligent: cognitively, emotionally, physically, spiritually and creatively
can be fully present in any moment: equally those of joy, celebration, success, as those of sadness, loss or failure
are sustainable, using your own and the world’s resources wisely and with compassionate, tender loving care
An invitation
Once you have discerned your vocation / calling or simply reaffirmed it then join us. At useful and kind we are a growing community of volunteers all trying to be useful and kind whether in small ways or on life changing journeys, whether helping a lonely friend at school, or leading an international organisation, whether shopping for a neighbour or creating a new prosocial business. Just be Useful and Kind and enjoy the benefits to yourself others and the world.
Thank you so much for all that you do.
Resources
Catherine Sanderson The Bystander Effect, The Psychology of Courage and Inaction, Collins, 2020
Rutger Bregman Humankind, A hopeful History, Bloomsbury 2020
Katherine Trebeck, Jeremy Williams The Economics of Arrival, Ideas for a Grown-Up Economy, Policy Press, 2019
Kate Raworth Doughnut Economics, 7 Ways to Think Like a C21st Economist, Random House, 2018
Mary Portas Rebuild, How to Thrive in the New Kindness Economy, Bantam 2021
Peter Singer The Most Good You Can Do, Yale, 2016
William MacAskill Doing Good Better, Guardian Faber, 2016
Toby Ord The Precipice, Bloomsbury, 2021