Mental Health, a Student’s Perspective
Harrison Green, a Useful and Kind Junior Mentor explores...
Sitting down to write this piece after virtually attending the funeral of my housemate Kiera is not something I could have ever imagined or wanted and it’s a feeling that I wish no one else ever will experience. She was a wonderful young woman who always put others before herself no matter what, but her battle with her own mind was not one she could overcome. It brings to light the stark reality of people’s struggles with their own mental health, and the ever more importance of just being genuinely kind to everyone you meet in life, be it a smile to a passing stranger or checking in on those you care about.
There are millions of things that I wish I could say to each and every person that is struggling in some form or another out there, but I know that it is impossible. My time so far at university has shown me that everybody has their struggles, everyone has life experiences that are sometimes hard to even imagine. It pains me deeply to know just how much everyone goes through and especially how tough this last year alone has been, but it has also highlighted to me some major flaws in the handling of mental health for young people.
What I have seen is if someone is in a mental health crisis, it is not the University or professionals dealing with that person, it is their friends. They take on such a heavy role that no one ever should have to, but what are their options? If somebody breaks a leg or has a physical injury, who is it you go to seek help? A medical professional, right? So why is it the responsibility of an individual’s friends to help them through any issues regarding their mental health? Shouldn’t that be for the professionals too? Yes, they are available out there, however waiting times alone are enough to put anyone off seeking this help. If the NHS had waiting times of over a year for medical emergencies there would be an out-cry. Why not the same reaction for someone experiencing a mental health crisis?
I asked the recent cohorts of the ‘Useful & Kind Summer School’ some questions about their experience of mental health as a student / young person. Here are some of their responses which show just how greatly this is affecting everyone.
“To put it in a nutshell, it has felt as though throughout this time it is illegal to make friends”.
“It has become so easy to feel lonely, more than ever before. Even though you are amongst many others (student population), it does not help. The banning of socialising makes it harder now, to begin to do it again”.
“Young people are at an age where our identities are shifting and we seek social contact and relationships with others, so to lose this has felt especially tough. There has been an overall lack of appreciation for the difficult line that students and young people have had to walk, between being safe and looking after others and seeking social contact, to not wanting to be excluded, especially when beginning university”.
“There has been a lot of support and focus on it in recent times which really helps. But it has been worse I believe recently for me because you’re with your thoughts all day but I'm glad I went through it came through stronger”.
Although I have chosen to focus on mental health in young people, it is no secret that people of all ages, no matter who they are, struggle or know someone that does struggle, with their mental health. No one should have to go through it, but if you are loved, you are brilliant and do not let anyone, not even yourself, tell you otherwise! Everybody deserves the right to be happy and free from suffering, please reach out even if it feels like the last thing you want to do.
I have written this in loving memory of Kiera; we all miss you so much <3
“ Our beautiful Kiera whom everybody loved, Your stay with us was all too brief.
The people you met the hearts you touched, Will always be a special gift.
She shone so brightly and, unlike the stars, her light will never diminish. All my love, Mum x “
With special thanks to Gurpreet Bhamra, Sarah Routley and Sulaiman Hakim for their contributions.
And my condolences to both Dawn and David Bennett, thank you for trusting me to write this piece in memory of your wonderful daughter Kiera. I wish you all the love and care the world has to offer x.
Harrison Green
Useful and Kind Reflections
Harrison’s piece raises many important questions which you might like to reflect on:
why is there still such a gap between our approaches to mental and physical wellbeing?
we have no idea really of the inner terrain of others, what can you do to be Useful and Kind to those you meet?
what have been the special circumstances for young people’s mental health during the pandemic?
who do you contact for support when you feel you need it?
could you train to be a helper, counselor, Samaritan?
Some helpful contacts:
Mind, https://www.mind.org.uk
Young Minds https://youngminds.org.uk/find-help/
Samaritans, https://www.samaritans.org
https://supportaftersuicide.org.uk/
https://listening-ear.co.uk/amparo/
https://www.winstonswish.org/death-through-suicide/
https://www.cruse.org.uk/get-help/traumatic-bereavement/coping-when-someone-dies-suicide
With thanks to Leah Black